What's an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humor.
What's an insolvency practitioner? Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality.
How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? How much money do you have?
Accounting Laws:
- Trial balances don’t.
- Working Capital does not.
- Liquidity tends to run out.
- Return on investments never will.
If an accountant's wife can't get to sleep, what does she do? Leans over and says "Tell me about work today, honey."
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: "No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
An interesting quote
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax."
- Albert Einstein
All new Cub jokes
2008 was not a kind year for the Chicago Cubs and their fans. Hopefully we can still appreciate a joke or two about our favorite team's lack of winning this past year.
What do the World Series and a polar bear on birth control have in common? They can’t have cubs.
On Take Your Daughter To Work Day, the Cubs had a fun time and played a little scrimmage against their daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
Cubs reliever Carlos Marmol suffered minor injuries in a car accident in the Dominican Republic. Just a few days later he was part of wrecks in Chicago and Los Angeles.
The Dodgers swept the Cubs out of the playoffs. The windy city hasn't seen a team blow a season that bad since, well, lots of times.
Chicago has picked up Lou Piniella's option for 2010. Incidentally that's also how many years it's been since the last time the Cubs reached the World Series.